As we have been working on our house since around Feb. 19th, I have been there almost every week day, minus about 2 I think. I have worked alongside Jamin, painting, scraping, sweeping, holding this or that, fetching this or that. I stop to change a diaper or nurse Timothy. I work some more. I kiss a “boo-boo.” I help Jamin think something through, then I pick up Timothy.
As I have been so busy, hardly cooking or doing regular cleaning, I have done a lot of thinking. There have been several moments when Jackson would be settled with a movie, and Timothy would be sleeping. Jamin and I would be doing separate jobs, and I would think.
The boys have been dragged there to work every day. They haven’t been held much, cuddled much, read to much. They have both slept on a pallet on the floor a little, and been very dirty. Jackson has been told, “go play” a lot! Timothy has cried a lot because our hands were so busy! And my mind would be thinking.
I would think, “Poor babies.” I was with them, but not really with them. I was there physically, but that’s about it. Their basic needs were met, but we didn’t have the same relationship as we normally do. To me, this proves that God designed me to be a Mom who stays home and raises my children! Yes, their physical needs are met, but what can I put into them while I’m constantly working? How am I training them if I’m just hoping they’ll be content, just for 5 more minutes? How am I preparing them for eternity? How am I helping them learn to serve the Lord and be a good Christian? The answer is: I’m not!
When I’m not in the home, doing my job as a stay-at-home Mom, the job just doesn’t get done. I haven’t had time to do anything for them except feed and change them. (Now, don’t get me wrong, they are cared for, and happy for the most part. I’m so thankful we will be finished remodeling soon, and life can return to normal.)
I believe the Bible teaches women should be in the home. My thoughts are, that if I’m with them, but not really raising them for the Lord at this time, what would happen if I did work outside the home? What would happen if they spent every day in a day care? They would not get much godly training. I would come home in the evening, worn out and have to get my laundry, cooking, and basic cleaning done. I would quickly send the children to bed so I could accomplish those things. To what end? How much time would I spend with my boys on those days? About two hours maybe?
I think a lot of people think, “Oh, they’ll be fine.” Yes, maybe they will. Maybe they won’t. But why settle for “fine?” I want my children to thrive! I want to make them all they can be for God! If I don’t, I have failed as a mother. If I don’t give my best, my absolute best, I feel I am cheating something from them.
A lot of people say, “I’m glad my husband works hard so I can stay home.” That’s fine. My husband works hard too, but he doesn’t make much money. He has chosen to put more into the ministry, rather than take a full-time, high-paying job he is constantly tied down to. Our needs are met. Our bills are paid. We don’t have much left over. And… we are happy! Others think you have to have two incomes. We never have and we’ve always been fine. We only have one car and it is not new. We buy most of our clothes at thrift stores. And… we are happy! We love the simple life! It’s not worth having money if we’re not the ones raising our children.
Just my thoughts. I’m so thankful my precious, godly husband shares my opinion on this matter. He is even stronger than I am on it, and I’m glad! I don’t want to be proud in this, or “holier than thou.” But I want to be firm. I don’t want anyone else raising my kids! I’m so thankful for them. Every day is precious with them, and I only have one lifetime to raise them.